Puts the Bible in a whole different light...

Okay…so I’m a little frazzled. It’s not everyday that you find out that Jesus has returned to earth…in the body of your seven month old kitten. You just don’t know what to think when you wake up to your cat multiplying cheezits for a congregation of cockroaches. I don’t think she has the messiah thing quite down yet tho. She is having a hard time controlling her animal instincts (she ended up eating her cockroach “followers”), but she saved us from Dave Barry and his attacking hoard of giant prehistoric zucchini, so I guess the pros outweigh the cons. But we have to have a talk with her, cause I really don’t appreciate being awakened by ten foot tall angels with flaming swords trumpeting “FEAR NOT!” And the roaches gotta find somewhere else to congregate. I keep trying to warn her that they don’t appreciate her, and will only betray her at the end, but she just purrs and licks my face, then uses my leg as a scratching post. I’m having nightmares of worshipful hordes of roaches swarming my house chanting “hosanna” and “Chicken” intermittently (Chicken is the savior’s name btw).
Crap, the light of heaven is about to piss on the carpet. Gotta go.