(no subject)

i have discovered something that disturbs me...

im twisted. i know i joke that i am, hell, my taste in relationships is proof of that, but im discovering just how truly twisted i am.

the movie Hostel made me laugh. like a good deep belly laugh. I think back to the scenes whare the laughing started and they still make me chuckle.

and its not the "that was so cool!" laugh that most people do at horror films. it was a sadistic maniacal cackling.

since i watched that, i have laughed at almost every form of violence i have seen, except for the types that piss me off. now most of you know me, I'm not particularly fond of sensless violence. if its not real, i think its stupid, a waste of time and glorifying behaviors toward other people that i find abhorrent. If it is real, i either cry because i cant imagine people being that heartless, or i get mad at the people who are treating other people as less than human. so this amusment scares me just a bit.

oh, well. i have homework to finish. will muse on this later.